


We will return when we drift apart

by shinebrightJR



Series: Stray Kids AU Series [1]
Category: Stray Kids
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, because chan needs more love, i love hyunjin dw, implied ChanBin, sorry hyunjin in advance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-02 06:51:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15791238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinebrightJR/pseuds/shinebrightJR
Summary: When Chan and Woojin ended what they are even before it actually started.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just woke up one day with this concept and i thought it would be a waste not to write it down and ignore it so just because I need more of my 97 line parents.
> 
> this will come in parts but it will be kinda short.

Chan is a regular in the studio. Even during their debut promotion he constantly visits the studio. If not and he has time, he jails in on his shared room with Changbin facing his computer for hours. It has been like that ever since he got the interest and started learning producing music. He divides his time for practicing rap, vocals, and dance, producing, and exercising. Nobody stops him because it actually helps his music knowledge or maybe because nobody really cares back then. He was a trainee; he needs to strive to be enough, to pass, to debut. No, the company staffs were good to him though. Sometimes he just really feels alone after Bambam and other GOT7 hyungs debuted then TWICE followed, especially Chaeyoung and Dahyun, the other sixteen members leaving then Somi making her own way with Produce 101. He feels alone, yes, but never left behind. They all dreamed of it, they all deserve it.  They all work hard for it.

 

As someone leaves, someone also comes soon after. His members. Maybe he just really waited for them. He just waited for people who will stay and can finally care for longer. 3Racha, who helps him improve his rap and make way and support for his music. His companions. The kids, who brightens his days. Every each of his members that present what he lacks. Woojin. Someone who can understand him. Someone who understand him. Woojin, who's always looking after him as he look after his members. Somehow, he's someone Woojin trust so much without worries.

 

Tonight, Chan is in the studio. Rephrase that, Chan is STILL in the studio. He's been there since the morning. Too busy starting to produce and come out with something. Their debut promotions had ended so they needed new tracks and concept for their next album. Of course, as a self-produce boy group 3Racha is in charge of that. He's been spending a lot of time in the studio lately, especially if they don't have any schedule which actually a little loose right now so they can prepare for their next album.

 

A moment in the middle of it, his phone lit up and displayed the name, Woojin. It was a message, reminding him of their planned movie night with the members. _Oh, seems like he won’t pick him up again._ He had expected that, Woojin haven’t been picking him up in the past nights but of course he had wished he would. He doesn’t really have to. But if he will be honest, his disappointment surges up a little too quickly these days which he doesn’t understand and actually feel bad about. They are not even dating. Maybe he’s been used to the actions and idea of Woojin’s comfort and warmth, attention and concern. He always needs to take care of everything so to have someone doing it for him is very ideal.

 

He sent a reply saying they could start without him. He needs to finish at least a thing before he leave. He would just be late, the kids might get upset if he does not show up in the movie night since it was planned, especially Woojin. He might think he is overworking again.

 

Chan made sure to press CTRL+S multiple times before shutting down the computer and turning of the light. He closes the door as he checks his phone for messages. _Nothing._ It is similar to the road he walked on the way back home, the moon illuminating his path. It is similar when he came home in the darkness of the dorm, the television illuminating the room as he step foot in the living room. The members are gathered on the sofa and the floor too busy with whatever movie they are watching, Chan really doesn’t know. Some members greeted him quietly. Woojin on the other hand just smile at him, he did not move and returned watching the movie and cuddling Hyunjin once he smiled back, much to his dismay. He honestly low key wanted a hug because he had a long day.

 

Since he was tired and everyone is already coped up in watching, he silently dragged his feet to his room. Maybe he should get some sleep? He kind of feels gloomy without knowing why. He was thinking it’s possibly an after effect of debuting. After all it had been a long seven years of training for him. Now, that he breaks free he can feel the huge change and the responsibility he should take.  That, yes that probably.

 

This is a mistake. He can’t sleep. He’s tired so of course he wanted sleep; particularly he wasn’t in the studio. It’s such a waste of time just lying in the bed but not getting any sleep. He sighed and shuffles himself on the bed. _He should have stayed in the studio instead._ Should he go ask Woojin? He usually helps.  He got up. He should check. He peeks on the door gently, checking the boys, his eyes finding Woojin. He pursed his lips when he spotted the older, seems like he can’t. Still in a cuddling position with Woojin, Hyunjin fell asleep in his chest while Woojin plays with the younger’s hair, eyes on the television.  Chan plopped back to his bed. He has to find a way himself.

 

3Racha had officially started producing the tracks for the next album. They are spending a lot of time in the studio unless they have schedule. But Chan is of course doing it of another level.  All Changbin could do is tell him how stubborn he is whenever he wanted to be left and go home almost midnight. Actually, it was early, but thinking, it’s not really. It’s Chan anyway. At least he tries to get enough rest, though Changbin notices he does not actually manage to sleep. The shifting and jumbling within the darkness has never gone unheard of Changbin one night he was laid in bed and awake brainstorming for ideas. It was already weird that he tries to go home before 1:00 am but it was weirder that he can’t sleep when he’s tired everynight. Chan sleeps easily when tired.


	2. Chapter 2

 

Changbin woke up at 8:00 am. Today, they have a schedule at 2:00 pm. He rose from bed, deciding to spend his morning in the studio. This is how 3Racha’s day was doing during preparations. That’s when he realized the bed across his is empty. He initially thought Chan just woke up early but his bed is noticeably untouched to Changbin. The Goku action figure Changbin played last night was still there as how lazily left it there. _He’s still not home?_ He grabbed his hoodie on his side. Probably he’s in Woojin hyung’s. He shook his head in presumption but as he opens his door he heard before he saw. Woojin and Hyunjin are laughing from the living room. Woojin has the phone in his hand and they look like watching something funny from his phone. There are also Seungmin and Jeongin on the floor, studying probably. While Hyunjin, he was sitting right beside the older. They look up at him and Hyunjin greeted him, “Good morning.” He just nodded before he went to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. When he walked back to them, he remembers Chan is not there.

 

“Hyung, is Chan hyung still asleep?” He asked, catching Woojin and even Hyunjin’s attention. Woojin’s eyebrows furrowed and Changbin was fast to understand the reaction. “So he didn’t go home last night?” He asked again even though he already know the answer he was confuse because Woojin was also giving him confuse looks.

 

“He doesn’t?” Woojin asked back, putting his phone on his pocket unconsciously. He doesn’t know? How come he didn’t? It’s his turn to be confused.

 

“Didn’t you pick him up?” Changbin asked, like it was the most obvious thing.

 

“I-I didn’t.” He stuttered, looking guilty. “I’ll go get him.” He suddenly stood up.

 

Woojin might have not noticed but Changbin does. Hyunjin has his hand firmly holding the older’s wrist. So before Woojin can even move, Changbin stops him. “No need. I’m headed to the studio anyway.” He said.

 

“I’ll come with you.” He insist but he seems somehow ashamed to go without approval which Changbin clearly didn’t give even if he goes, “You won’t be home until lunch, right? I should bring him home now.” He said it too rugged not to bring awkward air in the room.

 

 _You wish._ Changbin glances to Hyunjin’s unmoved hand before shaking his head to light up the atmosphere he doesn’t know why exist.

 

“Nah, as if we can pull him off there. Don’t worry too much, hyung.” Changbin grinned. “It’s just a day, he won’t die.” He said as he finds his shoes in the hallway.

 

He heard Jeongin bid him goodbye. “Tell Jisung to come when he wakes up.” Seungmin laughed as Changbin picked up his shoes. “That sleepyhead, I’ll wake him up in 20 if he doesn’t.” Seungmin said. Changbin noticed Woojin was still standing watching him as he gave Seungmin thumbs up until Hyunjin pulled him down as Changbin went out the door.

 

 _Now, he knows what’s wrong._ So all those days, Chan really tries to go home early himself.

 

When he reaches the company building he made sure to stop by the café. He ordered a coffee and tea before heading up their studio. That guy probably had great amount of coffee last night. It’s not right to give him another one. He prepares some nagging on his head whilst inside the elevator but as he opened the door harshly to start his acting it immediately came forgotten. He saw Chan passed out, his head dropped on his desk. Oh. He was asleep. Accompanied by a silent sighed, he entered, very careful on his steps and putting the cups on a space of his desk. He observed the boy and his right hand was still over the mouse loosely. He probably fell asleep in the middle of working. He looks really deep asleep. Changbin picked up his coffee then, sitting in the couch of the studio, one to which Chan ignore was there because he did not even manage to put his sleepy ass there. His position is not comfortable but it’s better than another sleepless night for him. Changbin just sat there and waited for him to wake up; coffee and phone in his hands.

 

Chan groans as he woke up, stretches and stare at nowhere for a moment. “Damn.” He utters to himself, innocent of Changbin’s presence and in realization that he had fell asleep in the middle of working. He rubbed his face with his hands in frustration. Changbin can’t help but feel bad for his leader.

 

“Hyung, the company sure consumes too much electricity because of you.” Changbin blurted, startling the older. Chan jumps on his seat automatically turning from where he heard the voice came from, his hands on his chest in surprise and eyes wide open. Upon seeing Changbin, he exhales heavily in mock relief. “Good morning, hyung.” Changbin smirked, liking the older’s reaction.

 

“Good morning, what time is it?” Chan asked, glancing at Changbin’s phone on the table. “I’m sorry, I think I slept too much.” He added, wearing an apologetic expression in his eyes.

 

“Almost 9:00 A.M. When do you think you dozed off?” Changbin asked, curious of how much sleep Chan gets for him to apologize for it. Chan’s

 

“The last time I check the time was 3:20? When did you come?” He asked feeling bad that Changbin must pick him up but he fell asleep.

 

“I just came. I woke up at 8:00 A.M. So I get here so I could start early today.” Changbin said drinking in his coffee.

 

Chan’s eyebrow furrowed confused. “You just came? You didn’t pick me up?”

 

“What?” _Did he forget? He did._

Chan shook his head, putting it aside of his concern. As he tried to fix his hair, Changbin finds the time to ask. “Why didn’t Woojin hyung pick you up?” Chan froze for a moment and gulp before he continued combing his hair by his hands.

 

“Where’s Jisung? You should call him already and we should start.” Chan said ignoring his question and turning his chair to face the monitor again. He is changing the topic too. Chan spots the cup on his desk. “Oh, is this mine?” He asked happily. Changbin pursed his lips by then, something is wrong.

 

Chan felt betrayed and left out so he doesn’t want to talk about it. He still needs to assess his feelings. Last night, he decided to return to the dorms by midnight like it had been the past few days. But because he had been there since early morning, he was tired and sick. He fell into a mild headache and going home alone will be a bad idea. So even though he did not want to contact Woojin in the middle of the night, he did. He was afraid that the older is asleep and he would wake him up so he was hesitating on doing so, but it just ended up adding to the pain. He called Woojin, the first time in awhile. It’s not that they don’t talk, they cannot not be. It’s just completely vague the past days that contacting each other seemed weird. He’s still the one he always thinks first in this kind of situation though.

 

_“Channie,” He heard Woojin’s voice. His eyes are shut close waiting for the older to answer._

_“Woojin-ah, can you pick me up?” He asked, trying to sound normal not to make the other worried._

_“I’m currently working on forcing Hyunjin home.” Woojin sounds distracted._

_Chan hummed not knowing how to react. Should he persuade Woojin? He can just come home with them. They are probably in the company anyway. He just really can’t go home alone right now. He opened his mouth to say something. “It’s really late, Chan. I got to go.” Woojin sounds worried._

_“But Woo-“_

_“I’ll contact maybe Changbin to pick you up.“ Chan hummed again nothing left to say. Woojin cut him off before he even tried, there’s no point. It’s really late too, they should rest. But that’s the point, aren’t he concern that it’s late and Chan is still in the studio? It used to be like that._

_Chan continued working as he waited for someone to knock on the door to pick him up. Probably Changbin since Woojin said he’ll ask someone to get him. His distracted his headache over the beats and almost forget about going home, not until he yawns and unconsciously checked the time on the lower right of the computer does he realized it’s already 3:20 A.M. He glance at the door, nobody came._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have you guys saw Christopher Bang today? The headband, the hair piercing(what do you even call that), the choker (shoutout to the stay who gave that, i saw her account on twitter actually), the sleEvElesS shirt. I feel attacked today.


	3. Chapter 3

Something vibrated over the desk so Chan grabbed his phone and checks. It was a message from Woojin. ‘Please take a break when Jisung arrives.’ It says. _So they aren’t even gonna talk about last night?_ It’s not like he didn’t go home because he wanted to. He should have contacted anyone himself if not for Woojin’s words. But still, his heart flutters upon receiving even a single text message from him.

 

“Seems like Jisung is on his way.” He told Changbin who just nodded.

 

It’s not long until Jisung arrives looking disheveled. A cap and mask covering his face. The older boys stare at him as he moves lazily. “Chan hyung, your brunch has arrived. I can’t believe Woojin hyung flips me on bed. I thought I woke up on a roller coaster.” He flops himself on the couch.

 

Chan stifles a laugh on his cuteness. “Thank you.” He uttered. Chan forgot to reply to his very first text. His phone vibrated again, another text from Woojin. ‘Hey, is Jisung there? Are you reading my text?’ Another one popped even before he typed a letter. ‘I’m texting Binnie if you don’t reply.’ And another followed after that. Changbin witnessed as he smiles on his phone. ‘He came. I’ll eat in awhile.’ He replied before letting go of the phone with a smile and playing the beats again to continue his work. Changbin felt his phone vibrating on his pocket continuously but ignored it. Too busy with what he was working and besides, he knew who it was already.

 

Later on, Jisung march to Chan’s desk removing his headphone. “Ugh. Hyung, just eat already. Woojin hyung will kill me if you don’t in the next 2 minutes.” He shoved his phone on Chan’s face. Chan shook his head disbelievingly before standing up, Jisung sitting on his chair instead. Chan fish out the lunch box out of the paper bag.  It’s a three stack lunch box. A small smile drew on his face opening a small folded paper that comes with it. ‘EAT EVERYTHING!” It says. He bit from the sandwich to keep himself from feeling too overwhelm. A single action makes him feel like this, this is not healthy. Isn’t packed lunch a sweet thing? It’s just packed lunch, but it makes him so happy.

 

“What was Woojin hyung doing before you left?” He heard Changbin asked, he looked up from his food, chewing slowly in curiosity.

 

“Cuddling Hyunjin? The guy seems to be in a bad mood.” Jisung answered.

 

Chan’s chewing becomes slower and his eyes dropped to the ground even before Changbin glanced at him so he didn’t notice the boy observing. Happiness that comes fast leaves fast as well.

 

“Who?” Changbin asked confused. Is Hyunjin or Woojin upset? Was it Woojin hyung? Because he didn’t allow him to come to the studio?

 

“Hyunjin.” Changbin hummed. What could it be? They are clearly having fun in the morning.

 

Chan lose his appetite somehow so he just finished the sandwich in his hand before pulling another chair beside Jisung. He plugged the headphones in the same computer Jisung is working with to distract him and monitor his work. Jisung looks at him. “You’re done?” And he answered with a small nod.

 

The food was barely touched. All that is gone is a piece of the sandwich. Jisung tried to ignore it and played with his tongue. That’s, Chan never says no to food. “Hyung, eat more.” Jisung tried. He heard from Jeongin that he hadn’t gone home last night and that’s why Woojin packed him food. He was tapping some beats as he offer the push. Chan suddenly exclaim and he realized he was not listening to him. “That’s cool!” He gently push Jisung’s hand and tap the beat himself as he remembers. Just like that, it was forgotten and they continued working.

 

When the manager picked them up by 12:00 pm, they went home for a quick shower the other members already gone. They headed to the salon where the other members are. They are just going to have some games, a sort of variety show for their Vlive so they didn’t take that long getting ready but Chan still managed to dozes off while the stylist was straightening his cute curly hair. The other members left and Minho is left with 3Racha. He fall in a fit of giggles as Chan’s head fell off and woke up, eyes half lidded until he make up the fact that Minho is making fun of him as well as Jisung on the sides. He gave them a glare, still sleepy.

 

Chan plops down in a couch dragging Jeongin to sit on his lap when they arrived. He let himself seat beside Woojin and Hyunjin who were eating together at the side. It was uncomfortable for Chan especially with what’s going on his mind right now but he doesn’t want the members to notice his indifference. “Hyung~” Jeongin playfully whines on his hold, not even looking like it but happy because it’s his first time seeing the older that day. Chan just squeezes him lightly, ignoring Woojin’s glances he felt was there.

 

“Here.” Woojin put a piece of chicken in front of his face near his mouth but even before he actually process it was there he saw Hyunjin doing the same thing to Woojin and he bite to it unbothered. When Chan was about to take the one offered to him it was already taken by Changbin, grabbing Woojin’s attention. Changbin blinks at them. Hyunjin finds it funny until Changbin snatch the bucket in between him and Woojin then put it on Chan’s other lap. Hyunjin glared at him and snort.

 

“Let him have it all, hyung. He only had a piece of your sandwich this morning.” Changbin said, making Chan feel awkward. Why didn’t he eat Woojin’s food? Maybe thanks to Jeongin’s reaction of a “Eh?” and how the kid just flop a piece of chicken in his mouth, he manage to hid whatever he felt inside in remembering. He doesn’t know Woojin’s reaction because he never spared him a glance after that. In his mind he reasons, it’s because Jeongin is too adorable.

 

“Eat. Eat everything.” Jeongin kept saying and continues to feed him while he just smiles even if his mouth is full and tried not to choke on too much chicken. Chan dropped his awkwardness and feelings since the eldest doesn’t seem to be concerned and didn’t bother to get his attention anymore.

 

The shoot was going well but Chan had been sensitive of Woojin and Hyunjin’s closeness though it was all just stuck in his mind, nothing goes out and obvious. As they take a break, Hyunjin and Woojin is out of sight. Chan hadn’t notice until Seungmin started looking for them because it seems like they will start again. He smiled at Seungmin and told him he will look for them because Seungmin looks a bit stretched up. He was the MC for today. He walked on the hallway, checking every door he passes by but aiming for the comfort room since what would they be doing in short break time? They weren’t there so he walked farther until he heard Woojin’s voice. “Is something wrong?” He heard.

 

They are in a room. The door is open but not so open. He was about to push open the door wide but he heard Hyunjin said, “I have something to tell you, hyung.”

 

Chan doesn’t know why, but he stops and just peeks from the tiny space of the door. Hyunjin and Woojin are standing facing each other. Chan’s heart is beating unevenly, he’s nervous. Why? He pursed his lips, totally forgetting to move. “I like you, hyung.” Hyunjin blurted out.

 

It was like on movies. Everything seems to stop for awhile then in slow motion, but not because of butterflies on his stomach or of his heart beating fast because this doesn’t seem to be his movie. He looked at Woojin’s face, waiting for his response. Chan himself doesn’t know how to react but Woojin always know what to do. He don’t know what he wish Woojin’s response will be but all that in his mind is that he doesn’t want to get hurt. He had wished that Woojin’s response would be in favor of him. He had hoped Woojin would say something about them, something between them but after about 20 seconds of staring Woojin pulled Hyunjin into a hug, rubbing circles into Hyunjin’s back. “I know.” He heard him utter and nothing else for the next 5 minutes.

 

Chan bit his lip. There’s no him. Right, what are they even? They aren’t dating. Chan holds his sigh together with his tears. But why?

 

Chan remained outside the door for the past 5 minutes of silence from the room. No, he doesn’t want to hear more. It was because he seems to forget how to move. He forced himself to walk away but stop midway. He sighed and closes his eyes. The headache he had been ignoring is suddenly acting up again. When he opened his eyes he saw Changbin standing right in front of him. He almost had a heart attack. The boy has his eyes narrowed at him, weird out and observing.

 

“Oh binnie, why are you here?” Chan asked.

 

Changbin pointed on his side which happens to be the comfort room without him knowing when he stopped there. “I went to the toilet. What are you doing here?” He asked back.

 

Chan gulped. “I-I’m looking for Woojin and Hyunjin but I’m not feeling well. Can you check further there?” He said, instructing Changbin. He gave him a shoulder pat before heading back to their room. He stayed in a corner when he gets there, conditioning himself and feeling his headache. He stared blankly at the members doing whatever even to the other three members that entered the room lastly, particularly staring at the two hands holding each other. He just looks at their hands and didn’t look up. He abruptly stood up to the members because they would probably start again.

 

Chan is better than this. He is better than his emotion and physical pain. He needs to do his tasks as the leader. And so that’s what he does, completely do his thing as the leader and a member of the group. He focuses hard on the games and reacts well at his members antics and jokes. He acts with Woojin and Hyunjin without any difference despite his internal tremor. It’s out of his concern right now. It’s too early to have problems that could damage their group. Chan would make sure nothing like that happens, especially not because of him. If there’s anything he is surely good at without the knowledge of anyone, it’s acting everything’s normal, everything’s fine.

 

But doing well on that aspect also means not looking at Woojin’s eyes, that is. That would totally blow up his cover. He never looks at the boy throughout the broadcast so he wasn’t particularly aware of his actions and expressions. Once, he accidentally met his eyes and his initial reaction was look away so Woojin found it weird. He started feeling anxious and conscious of Chan when he noticed. It was when Seungmin had asked Woojin something so everyone looks at him that their eyes met again.

 

Chan knew. By now, Woojin knows something is up. And Woojin is never dense. Chan knows he would know what’s up.

 

He had been ignoring his head ache since the morning in the studio or even last night. And his palpitation that caused by his current anxious thoughts running on his mind is definitely not helping. But he needs to think about it now. He needs to do something. He felt his head throbbing as they finally settle on the car seat. He wanted to be in the same car as Woojin, because his headache is now terribly bad but he already hopped in the other car. Now, he was in a car with Changbin, Seungmin and Jeongin.

 

Chan and Woojin are not dating. Woojin had asked him one time but he refuse. He hadn’t directly say no they talk seriously about it instead and decided it wasn’t the right time, especially they haven’t debut by that time. You can’t blame him he trained too long for that dream. He is also a leader of a rookie group. It’s completely hectic to be in a relationship. So sure they ain’t dating, but still weren’t there commitment? Chan is confused. Since they aren’t dating should it be fine for him if Woojin likes someone else?

 

As long as you can handle it, feelings are fine. Chan though thinks right at that moment that he completely under looked feelings and that he can’t handle it. He knows that he wasn’t alright. He’s smart enough, old enough. If this continues, it may get out of hand. He can’t go on a daily basis like this. This confused, this anxious, this unfocused. He got a group to lead, songs to produce and dreams to protect. He can’t let whatever is bothering him ruined anything for the boys. He needs to clear his mind. For the group. If anything, Woojin would understand because all they want is the best for the group. If anything, maybe it would also make things comfortable because right now, Chan is seriously bothered by his own actions of indifference. Even if it’s a bad decision, it’s good for now. He doesn’t even know if what he’s gonna do would matter to Woojin but he really needs it for himself. He had decided.

 

Changbin knew Chan have a headache and tired and that’s why he was quiet the whole ride home. But he became worried because instead of sleeping in the car, the older was blankly staring at the window deep in thought. He wasn’t even leaning on the headrest. Is he thinking of the songs again? He seriously needs to make sure to push him to rest when they get to the dorm. Though, when he was about to collect Chan as they arrived, he was in a hurry.

 

“Woojin,” He called immediately the moment Woojin step foot on the ground. “I need to talk to you.” He said clearly. Woojin just nodded his head, lacking in emotion. The air between the two of them is serious but nobody noticed aside from Changbin because it was dark and the boys seems tired already. “Minho, we’ll go buy ice cream. Be in charge.” Minho just nodded as Chan smiled to him.

 

They walk side by side in silent. Woojin coughs trying to ignore the awkwardness. “You’re suddenly craving for ice cream?” He said, smiling at him.

 

Chan smiled back and hummed in agreement. They were silent again so Woojin tried again. “You said you wanted to talk?” Woojin asked cautiously.

 

Chan nodded simply. “After we buy the ice creams.” He chuckled a little. “I thought it’s summer, but night air seems to be still a little chill.” Chan said as he moves closer. He held Woojin’s hand. His heart started beating fast, but it felt right.

 

Woojin intertwined their fingers and thought Chan’s right it’s chilling but now it felt warm. He likes this warmth the most. They stayed in comfortable silence and even when getting ice creams for everyone, they didn’t let go of each other’s hand while laughing at their antic. “I think we should get more.” Chan said, raising a brow for confirmation. Woojin just agreed, giving his hand a squeeze. They just remain like that, holding hands and giggling at nothing.

 

When they are almost in the front of the building, Chan pulled him to a stop. He gave him one sweet smile before it fades. “Woojin-ah. Let’s quit this.” Woojin doesn’t understand what he means but his hands automatically held the other hand tighter. But when Chan brushed his hand off, he gets it.

 

Chan felt numb as he says that. “I saw you and Hyunjin.” He started. “I don’t know if I should understand or not. I don’t know if there’s something to understand even.” He said.

 

Woojin didn’t say a word because he was confused too. He didn’t reject Hyunjin, yes. But he’s also certain he wants Chan, he wants things to remain like that but he can’t reject Hyunjin. It was unfair, and he knows it. That’s why he was not supposed to say anything to Chan because he would always do the right thing and that means this. What’s happening now.

 

“You’re supposed to explain you know.” Chan said, matter of fact-ly, emotionlessly. “But I guess you won’t do that.” Maybe it was better, because Chan just really needs peace of mind right now and knowing everything wouldn’t probably help. It would just play his mind.

 

“I’m really confused. I’m not doing well for the past days. My mind is a messed. I can’t be like that. I can’t mess things for all of you just because I can’t deal with myself and can’t handle damn feelings. I don’t know if I just don’t understand things or I don’t understand you.” Chan looked directly in the eyes. “So I just really wanted to tell you this and quit my confusion.” They stared at each other for awhile before Chan started walking to the building again. Woojin followed without a word. They’re in the same elevator, suffocating.

 

The door opened and Chan hopped out excitedly, knocking the dorm door giddily. Hyunjin opened the door and he smiled brightly at him, waving the plastic bag on his hand and shouting, “ICE CREAM!” and so the boys started cheering and gathering in one place. Hyunjin remained to the door, waiting for Woojin. “Woojin-ah, come in fast!” Chan shouted again as he ran comically to the boys as if nothing happens. As if they didn’t break up if you could even call it that. Woojin felt lonely at that thought. Chan doesn’t even spare time to be lonely. He thinks it will be selfish of him to do so because he is the leader and it’s a waste of time.

 

Chan sneaked in the kitchen right when everyone was already engrossed by talking and ice cream. Sometimes, he is thankful he chose 8 more members only because if he ever sneaks away and nobody would notice he was actually missing or what he was actually doing every moment because it’s chaotic everytime. His head is really throbbing even ice cream didn’t help. Who even told him ice cream can cure headache? He was entirely sure as well that he was exhausted of his emotional day to act like he is fine when he is not. So he goes in a search over their kitchen’s cabinet for the medicine box. He took 2 aspirin in hand and gets water as he swallow it. He reasons over himself, it’s okay because his head was aching since last night so one for last night and one for today. He walked directly in his shared room with Changbin, totally forgetting the presence of his members in his living room who he unknowingly ignored. He laid on his bed thoughtless, immediately falling asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Cham~ i love a hard working passionate talented leader


End file.
